Sunday, July 12, 2009

Life After Baby

This blog started out just about being pregnant and bipolar. Over the last year and a half I've sporadically posted about life as a bipolar mom. I wonder if my readers want to hear about that or if you'd prefer that I just stick to posting relevant news about being pregnant. Drop me a line at bipolarpregnancy @ gmail.com and let me know.

Here's an update on life as a bipolar mom ... it's hard! I know that motherhood in and of itself can be challenging, but I've had to face that additional challenge of trying to control my mood while raising my daughter. Let me first say being a mother is one of the best things I've ever done, but I could not ever do it without my husband. He is my rock when I fall apart. And I have had numerous challenging days were I feel like I've come undone. By come undone I mean that I have fallen into depressions and haven't been able to be the primary caregiver during those times. My husband has to take over.

I didn't really anticipate that I would face that challenge. I've said before I was stable -- no depression or mania for almost 5 years before becoming pregnant. The medications and my lifestyle kept everything in sync. The hormonal changes after pregnancy are still affecting me and I just haven't been able to get my med cocktail just right yet.

So there it is motherhood is amazing and wonderful ... but being bipolar makes it hard. Want to hear more about life as a bipolar mom ... let me know.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Most definitely - I do. I'm in the same situation, only fairly recently diagnosed (we've emailed back and forth a bit!). I don't know anyone else with this diagnosis, so I'd certainly love to hear your experiences. Do tell. ;)

T-Vill said...

i emailed you maybe a week ago, but i'm sure you're busy! i don't know anyone else who is pregnant and bipolar or a mother and bipolar. i'm almost halfway through pregnancy and since i've been off of my meds it's like depression has its way of finding me often. plus i live by myself and just have a boyfriend a few states away. life is REALLY HARD. do tell! ~trinity

Tori said...

I personally think that if you had a cowriter who was pregnant it would only improve the site. Your experieces as a mom with bipolar are invaluable but the site is "My Bipolar Pregnancy" and I think that other perspectives on that would also be invaluable.

I'm not currently pregnant, but we're thinking about it. For a long time I didn't think that having kids would be a safe decision for me. Your site really changed my mind. I'm on lamictal too and it's good to know that it can mix with pregnancy. I cried with relief and joy when I first found your site.

OUTTAlights said...

Absolutely. You give me hope and we have so much in common. You have helped me through my pregnancy (email and blog) and now we share the admiration for our respective husbands. Without mine I would not be the person I am today and feel loved unconditionally. Even when I feel like I am 'broken'.
Amy

Rachael said...

I got a lot of feedback in my email on this topic and almost all want to hear being a bipolar mom. So I'll continue to update this blog.

Tori's suggestion about guest writers on bipolar pregnancy is a great idea. So if any of you want to write a post, contact me at bipolarpregnancy @ gmail.com

Dutch84 said...

I'm bipolar, and I found your blog by googling "bipolar pregnancy". I am trying to find out whether it is safe to be on bipolar medication while pregnant. I'm not pregnant, but I hope to be one day. So, (you probably already mentioned this before somewhere on your blog) did you take bipolar meds while you were pregnant? If so, which meds?

Rachael said...

Dutch84,

I was on Lamictal during the second and third trimesters. I went off of it in the first trimester. There are several medications that are considered "fairly" safe as all medicine has some amount of risk when taking during a pregnancy.

Anonymous said...

Hi Rachel,
Please do keep up your site. This is one of the only ones I have found. I recently found out that I am pregnant, but am still very early (about 5 weeks). My Psych MD wanted me to stay on a Lithium dose of 900mg per day, but I have been managing great at 300 mg per day. So, that's the dose I'll stay at through the pregnancy.
I'd be happy to share things as I go through them.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your blog...I am 7 weeks into my first pregnancy and have been off my bi-polar meds for 2 weeks. Right now I feel really good, but I am expecting the lows and the highs (agitation, in rapid cycles, typical to Bipolar II disorder) yet to come. My mother, who is bipolar has found great alternative relief in accupunture. She thinks (as does my mother-in-law) that I should try that, when/if i get to the place that I cannot function, due to mood. I feel very hopeful (now) that there are decent options out there for me. I feel very grateful to have a supportive husband and family. I know in my mind this will be hard, it scares me sometimes, but I have been through so much already, it takes an awful lot to make me want to quit. I believe all things are possible, only because of Whom I believe in! (my higher power, not just me.) Thanks again for hearing me! Tara

Anonymous said...

my 16 year old son's girlfriend is pregnant and has been acting very unstable. She isn't diagnosed as bipolar but I've been reading and I think she might have it. She cries alot and is very violent towards my son. She'll kick him out of her house, then when he leaves she freeks out. She has hit him, thrown herself in the middle of the road, thrown herself up against a fence. She's 8 months pregnant an dI'm scared for the baby.

formerly buried rage said...

Sure do, if we wanted to hear about "normal pregnancies" we would google that, we/I need to hear your stories, we all need encouragement, and honesty.

Anonymous said...

In June 2003, I was hospitalized, highly medicated, followed by a team of doctors who diagnosed me as "bipolar 1". Less than 2 years after that, I gave birth to my son. I was in a new city. I didn't know anyone. I was off my meds and felt so alone.

I read the post and love how you mention that your husband is your rock. He takes over when you simply aren't able to do it anymore. I started to cry when I read this because I never had that with my son's father. We lived together for almost 5 years after our son was born, constantly fighting because I felt like he wasn't supportive whatsoever (turns out he was sleeping with his ex, which I didn't find out about until we'd been separated for over a year).

I blamed him but also blamed myself for a long time..for not being able to make things work.

For a long time after, I really wished I had done things differently (blaming myself). This is the bipolar me speaking!

This is a wonderful blog. You've done an amzing thing here. Thanks so much for sharing a part of your world with us. It takes so much courage and strength. Thank you