Sunday, August 31, 2008

How Did it Sneak Up on Me?

The last day or so I've really been pondering how did this depression sneak up on me? I try to remain in touch with my emotional and mental state. I would say that many times I am hyperaware of how I am doing. So how did I miss it?

But then again almost all the women I've known who have gotten post-partum depression say the same thing. It took them a while to realize it ... it starts slowly and just builds a little. I also have found out that getting PPD is common to happen between 6-8 months.

Looking back over the last month I now know the triggers that probably set this off ... my sleep has been interrupted while Leila was teething. She started waking up several times a night ... meaning I was waking up several times a night. And my biggest sleep issues is I have a hard time falling asleep. So for every time I wake up a night it is between half an hour to an hour before I can fall back to sleep.

Trigger #2 was that my mom and I got in an argument. And the stress from that wasn't healthy for me.

Trigger #3 - Work. I work for myself which can sometimes be very stressful. I was successful at cutting down my workload during my pregnancy and taking on less projects - but I started taking on more than I should have after I hired a part-time nanny last month.

Trigger #4 - Money. Finances have a tendency to stress me out. I currently am one of those lucky people who own two houses. Not because I want to own two houses but because the market in Florida has tanked and I haven't been able to sell one of them. Well, this is only partially true -- until having my daughter I didn't want to sell our other house. I had fantasies about moving back to the east coast of Florida. And because at the time both my husband and my business were doing well there was no urgency to sell. Fast forward a year and my husband's business is slow (he's in construction) and I'm working less because of the baby and now the second house is a huge drain on our finances. I know hindsight is 20/20 - but I should have sold the house 3 years ago when we first moved to the west coast of Florida and the market was still great.

1 comment:

Mrs_Scotsman said...

Thanks for sharing what is going on with you. I really know how you feel.